Cats vs. Me

I am not a cat person at all.  Not even a little.  I mean, I think kittens are cute and all, but it ends there.  See, I really think people are cat people or dog people.  Sometimes, I guess people like both little creatures, but it seems to me that people are usually one person or the other.  Well, I used to be a dog person, I even let my dog eat from my spoon one time.  Gosh, how disgusting!  I now have children, so I am a children person and I'm ok with that.  I do feel badly sometimes that my dog doesn't get the attention he used to, but I'm human, and well let's just leave it at that.  I am getting to something here, so just wait a minute ok?

You see, when I was in college I had two roommates that were cat people and OH MY GOSH, they had the most annoying cats ever!   The cats knew I didn't like them so they tormented me.  I swear it was like they were saying, "lady, we don't like you either!"  So as you see the feeling was mutual between me and those cats.  I'm sure you are laughing at my proclamation of cats actually tormenting me.  It is the truth though.   How is this for tormenting someone?  They would poop right outside my door so that when I woke up, still groggy and without caffeine, I would step in their excrement.  Now is that a crappy (ha) way of starting your day or what?  Now, my roommates were not skilled with the cat litter box so the cats had to go someplace, but why in front of my room EVERY SINGLE time?  Can someone explain that?  They hated me, that's why.

Example #2.   The door wouldn't completely latch to my room so all you had to do was tap it and the door would swing open.  Well, these cats knew it and in the middle of the night when I was right in the middle of my wonderful REM sleep they would run down the hallway, bump my door, jump on my bed, spin around, wake me up and then high tail it out there because I was pissed.  Yes, I was that angry.  How would you feel if you were awakened by creatures you didn't even like, spinning around in your bed in the middle of the night?  Can you say annoying?

Ok, here is the real story that I want to tell you.  We decorated for Christmas one year, big tree and all.  Even between the three of us, we didn't have $10 so it was a big deal for us to buy decorations, which consisted of the traditional glass balls.  That tree was so pretty.  As pretty as a cheaply decorated tree can be, but we thought it was nice.  It didn't stay nice for long though.  Why?  The cats!  They would run from down the hallway and jump into the tree and knock the balls off of the tree!  Seriously?  Why would a creature do such a thing?  Because they knew that it irritated me and they were just laughing at me as I was constantly cleaning up little shards of red and green glass.  I say I did it because Lord knows those girls wouldn't have done it.  At that time, I'm not sure that they even knew what a broom looked like.

This story is going somewhere, I promise just stay with me.  You see, I don't have a cat, but you know what I do have?  I have an 18 month old that is just as bad as those cats.  The only difference is she doesn't have the leg strength to take a flying jump up into the the highest limbs.  She does have about 8 arms (I swear she is part octopus and part Jack Chan, i.e. fast).  I cannot keep up with this girl.  Even as I was typing this post she was trying to rip off the monitor of my laptop.  Good grief.

But, then look at this face....could you be mad at this beautiful creature?  Maybe while you are cleaning up the red and green glass shards, but not for much longer than that.  She is too perfect, 8 arms and all.