Big Derriere

Warning:  I will be discussing an event that occurred in a public restroom today.  Now, it isn't gross at all, but it does involve me discussing my derriere so if you would prefer not to read about that I suggest you move along and come back later.  You won't leave though because you won't be able to stand it.  You will want to know what I have to say.  It is funny.  Well that is, if you aren't me!

Today the kids were scheduled for flu shots and true to form we were running behind schedule.  Maybe I get that from my aunt, she is always late.  Goodness gracious she has been late my whole life.  Oh, but she is by far one of my most favorite people, so who cares if she is fashionable late?  Anyway, we make it to the office and of course the kids have to stop and go to the restroom.  I swear I have visited almost every public restroom in the city of Dallas.  I guess that is the case for all parents with young children.  This office happens to have a family bathroom, which includes a urinal.  Man, those things are disgusting.  Last time we were there Julia thought it would be a good idea to pick up the urinal cake thing.  Oh GAWD, I'm sure I scarred her for life after scrubbing her hands.

Ok, so of course Jack insists on using this thing even though he isn't tall enough yet.  Why is that important?  Well, since he used it the little lady wanted to use it too!  Oh for heavens sakes kid!  You do not have the proper parts for a urinal.  I have to tell her this regularly.  I think Freud might have been right with his whole penis envy thing.  So, I help Jack and help him wash his hands.  All the while doing a dance of my own because I drank too much water on the trip over.  Well, I do my little hover move (yes, this is what women do in the restroom....if you don't, YUCK).  So Julia comes over and says this, this terrible thing.  She says something that would make any woman cringe.

"Mommy, you have really big bobo."  Ummm, what?  Are you frigging kidding me?  You did not just say that to me?  (I did not say this to her)

She then makes takes her arms and stretches them out to the side, as wide as they will go and says, "Jack, mommy's bobo DIS big.  She have big bobo.  Mine yittle, yours yittle, hers DIS big."

Ohhh, I just laughed and thought to myself, well I guess it could be bigger than it is so I will just be thankful for that.